The Hazardous Dispatch

A Hazardous Shout Out

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 19:36:43 -0700

Bryan Alexander, author of The New Digital Story Telling, recently gave us a shout out one of his Blogs. Mr. Alexander’s book explores ideas and techniques for building new narrative with new media, which is something we are very interested in as storytellers. You can learn more about him and his writings at his personal website here and read his other blogs, such as infocult where he discusses issues around gothic literature and technology. Then there is his blog concerning “off-the-grid homesteading here, and his own digital storytelling project draculablog, man he is prolific. You can read his entry on Knighttime here.

Thank you Mr. Alexander for your help and support.

On another note for those of you that have been waiting patiently (we presume) for more episodes of the Secret of Donotalado, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We have finally scheduled a two-week no-holds-barred recording session in November where we intend to record as much as we can without killing each other. We are currently at the half waypoint in our story and there is much more absurd adventure ahead. So please stay tuned.

Cheers,

Images of The Tinkers Cuss discovered

Mon, 19 Sep 2011 21:29:56 -0700

Recently, Robert Thiggleswade, owner of the infamous Tinkers Cuss, made an amazing discovery. Several images of the Cuss were in a box of his late fathers belongings. The images show a Tinkers Cuss from many years back, perhaps from even before the Thiggleswade took over the proprietorship as the Cuss appears not to be the rubbish heap that is it current state. Regulars of the Cuss have had fierce debates over the method used to create these images, and due to the usual lack of imagination by the clientele of the Cuss, have decide it was witchcraft. Take a look and decide for yourself.

IMAGES

The Secret of Donotalado, ACT XIII

Tue, 9 Aug 2011 18:10:26 -0700

How do like that, only three months between episodes, boy we are really cranking them out. Ok, ok we realize that we haven’t been the most productive lately, but we have a boatload of excuses; work, unplanned family emergencies, renegade sewer lines, alien abduction (that was Lewis and I think he was just desperate for attention). I hope we still have some fans out there, and we have plans this fall to all gather for a massive recording session. we promise, really, it’s true, would we whine like this if it wasn’t true.

In the meantime here is the much-anticipated Act XIV of the Secret of Donotalado, in which we meet the infamous Wiggins senior who has a thing or two to say about young Wiggins chosen career. Also being is well versed in art history and may have some crucial clues to the mystery behind the Mystic Painting of Donotalado. So sit back, close your eyes (unless of course your driving, in which case we strongly suggest you keep your eyes open, just thought we would mention it) and return with us to the ludicrous world of Knighttime.

The Secret of Donotalado, ACT XIV

Techniques of Evasion a very short Knighttime Tale

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:27:34 -0700

The two knights strode towards the castle gates. Along the way they greeted passerby’s, engaging in random conversations, bartering with the farmers over wilted vegetables offered at the many shabby stands lining the muddy streets, occasionally they paused and pet a mangy cat or dog. It was clear to those who were monitoring the Knights progress across the square that haste was not a priority here. Their lack of urgency was very telling, especially considering who these two knights were.
Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst had been officers in the Royal Guards for decades, knighted by Queen Ester years before her son, Theodor ascended to the throne. The two were legendary throughout the Kingdom of Udenland, tales of their exploits were told with great flourish throughout the land. Children recreate their adventures, arguing over who played Cottington and who played Bratwurst. Fights erupt in drinking establishments as inebriated Udenland citizens debated the details of the knight’s crusades. Aspiring poets and musicians attempt to compose inspiring verses elucidating their infamous deeds. Yes, the inhabitants of Udenland, especially the residents of Azura, Udenland’s capital city take a certain pride in Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst for they are most cowardly and incompetent knights that have ever existed in Udenland's long history. Their particular brand of buffoonery was an essential form of entertainment to many, elevating them to celebrities, though the knights themselves are completely unaware of the nature of their acclaim.
As beloved as they are by the citizenry they are equally despised by King Theodor, who frequently curses his mother forever bestowing them the honor of knighthood. He sees them as blight on his regime, a stumbling, moronic embarrassment that leaves him with a pounding headache. This festering hatred had led him and his closest advisor, Reg, to continually conceive of pointless, yet extremely dangerous tasks for Cottington and Bratwurst. Whether it is quest to distant lands, fraught with vicious beasts and undomesticated magic, in search of some useless “mystic” artifact or simply ordering them to clean the windows of the high tower. Each task given in the hopes that the knights will meet their grisly end, relieving the king of his consuming contempt, yet, somehow, though sheer luck or by some improbable accident, the knights always survive, returning in one piece, accompanied with another ridiculous tale.
This morning the king sent word to Sir Cottington and Sir Bratwurst that once again he has commanded their presence before him at precisly eleven. This explained the knight’s leisurely gait through town, their general lack of enthusiasm to arrive at their scheduled appiontment. Why suddenly a particular turnip needed close scrutiny or the urgency to have yet another meandering conversation about the unseasonal weather in East Canker County. They know what awaits them once they navigate the castles maze of halls and enter the dreary throne room, yet another treacherous mission involving sharp teeth and unpredictable hexes.
As Sir Cottington made his way through the crowd he rested his hands on his ample stomach, nodding and greeting each person he passed. Sir Bratwurst, a full two feet taller than Sir Cottington and a good hundred and fifty pounds, lighter walked alongside the senior knight with a faint look of panic on his face.
“Sir, perhaps we should get ourselves to the king.” He said nervously.
“But why Bratwurst, look” Said Cottington, suddenly darting to one of the fruit stands, “The rossenquats are in season.” He held a reddish melon sized fruit and stared pleadingly at Bratwurst, “We should really have some, don’t you think?”
“Sir, you hate rossenquats, you say they make your teeth itch. I really think we should be going”
Cottington sighed and dropped the fruit back onto the pile he had taken it from. “Fine, if you insist.” His eyes suddenly went wide and he shot off to the neighboring stand, “Look Bratwurst, gorgon berries, doesn’t a gorgon berry pie sound perfect right now. We could take these to my mother and she could have the pie ready by dinner. Sounds good, eh Bratwurst?”
By the time Bratwurst had caught up with Cottington, Cottington had already stuffed several handfuls of the berries into his mouth, his face and moustache stained bright green from the gorgon berry juice. As Cottington spoke green tinged saliva landed on Sir Bratwurst’s Tunic.
“Sir! I just cleaned this and I believe it is imperative that we make haste to the King” Bratwurst looked up from his futile attempts to dab the gorgon berry juice from his tunic and discovered that Sir Cottington was already moving onto the next vendor, stopping to pat a particularly unpleasant looking dog. Sir Bratwurst rolled his eyes and followed.
“Sir, really, this is not the time.”
“Of course it is Bratwurst, and look the new Clithrow chainmail is in. Look at that quality. Nobody makes chainmail like Clithrow.”
Sir Bratwurst started to protest, but stopped himself, mouth hanging slightly open and shrugged. He ambled up to Sir Cottington at the Clithrow stall, picked up a chainmail shirt and inspected it. He gave a sigh of defeat and said, “You know Sir, the new rings do seem a bit more tightly woven. Better protection I suspect.”
“Yes, yes, and see here Bratwurst, the leggings are very flexible, better for running. I believe Mr. Clithrow has outdone himself this year.”
As Bratwurst moved closer to take a look at the leggings, the Horace Clock Tower high on Tortoise Hill struck noon. The sky began to darken slightly, threatening rain. The venders squinted at the clouds, looks of concern on their faces. The feral dogs and cats began to migrate towards the garbage shoots near the kitchens, knowing that the remnants of midday meal would soon be making their greasy arrival. And, deep within the castle, surrounded by elaborate tapestries depicting Udenland’s questionable history, sat the King, head in hands, teeth grinding, frustration mounting as he experience yet another pounding headache.

New Character Profiles

Fri, 22 Jul 2011 10:03:15 -0700

We have added three new profiles to our character page, Owen Glendower, Brother Gordon of the Sacred and Lethal Monks and the infamous Captain Scrimshaw. All three have had roles in recent Secret of Donotalado episodes.

Stop by our character page and learn a little more about then and the other the exceptional citizens of Udenland.

Ze Players